119th Not-Congress — 1st Session of Futility
From the Not-Congress
Satirical legislation that actually makes sense — a novel concept
Declares potholes a national emergency, establishes a federal Pothole Czar, mandates a nationwide pothole census, and redirects the Congressional gym budget to road repair.
It is allegedly illegal to die in the Houses of Parliament in the United Kingdom, reportedly because anyone who dies in a Royal Palace is entitled to a state funeral. Enforcement has proven challenging.
Makes it a federal misdemeanor to use the 'Reply All' function unnecessarily in government email systems, punishable by mandatory email etiquette training and public shaming.
In the United Kingdom, it is illegal to handle a salmon in suspicious circumstances under Section 32 of the Salmon Act 1986. No, really. 'Suspicious circumstances.' For a fish.
Allocates $42 million in federal funding for interdisciplinary research into the meaning of life, including mandatory 'existential crisis days' for all federal employees.
Wisconsin banned the sale of yellow-colored margarine from 1895 until 1967, because the dairy industry decided that if margarine couldn't taste like butter, it certainly shouldn't be allowed to LOOK like butter either.
Mandates that all political campaign advertisements include a mandatory disclaimer identifying every exaggeration, misleading statistic, and outright fabrication contained therein.
Requires all federal legislation to be written in plain English that a reasonably literate eighth-grader could understand, because apparently that needed to be a law.
In 1897, the Indiana General Assembly nearly passed a bill that would have legally redefined the mathematical constant pi as 3.2. The bill passed the House unanimously before a mathematician intervened. This actually happened.
Requires all members of Congress to pass a basic technology literacy quiz before being permitted to vote on any legislation related to technology, the internet, or anything with a screen.
No bills found.
The Not-Congress is on recess. Again.