How We Score Absurdity
A completely scientific methodology developed by people who read too many congressional records
The Absurdity Scale
1-3: Business as Usual
Standard legislation, procedural stuff, post office namings. The kind of bills that make you say "yeah, I guess someone has to do that."
4-6: Questionable
Bills that make you raise an eyebrow. Creative acronyms, odd priorities, solutions in search of problems. Not necessarily bad, just... curious.
7-8: Your Tax Dollars
Genuinely wasteful spending, bizarre research funding, pork barrel projects. The bills that make you wonder if anyone is paying attention.
9-10: Fish on Meth
The pinnacle of absurdity. Pizza-as-vegetable tier. Bridge to Nowhere. Bills so absurd they transcend partisan criticism and unite us all in confused disbelief.
Our Methodology
We Read the Bills
Yes, we actually read them. The full text. The amendments. The committee reports. So you don't have to experience that particular form of existential dread.
Editorial Opinion
Our scores are editorial opinion, not objective fact. Reasonable people can disagree about what constitutes absurdity. Unreasonable people can disagree more loudly.
What We Consider
- • Wasteful or inefficient spending
- • Tortured acronyms and naming
- • Time spent relative to importance
- • Actual impact vs. stated goals
- • Unintended consequences
Non-Partisan Absurdity
Absurdity knows no party. We critique bills from all political persuasions because wasteful legislation is a truly bipartisan achievement.
Important Disclaimer
This is satire and commentary. While we base our analysis on real legislation, our scores and commentary are intended to entertain and provoke thought, not serve as legal or policy guidance.
For official bill text and status, visit Congress.gov