119th Not-Congress — 1st Session of Futility
Historical Archives
A curated collection of legislative decisions that made history — not always for the right reasons. Every entry is real. We couldn't make this stuff up if we tried.
8
Documented Oddities
100+
Years of History
$Billions
Taxpayer Dollars
0
Lessons Learned
Absurdity
9/10
Congress blocked USDA efforts to limit pizza and french fries in school lunches. The ruling effectively allowed two tablespoons of tomato paste on pizza to count as a serving of vegetables. Frozen food lobbyists celebrated. Nutritionists wept.
Where Are They Now?
Still on the books. Your child's school lunch pizza remains, legally speaking, a vegetable. The tomato paste industry remains grateful.
Absurdity
10/10
A proposed $398 million bridge in Alaska would have connected the town of Ketchikan (population: 8,900) to Gravina Island (population: 50) and its airport. The bridge would have been nearly as long as the Golden Gate Bridge.
Where Are They Now?
Cancelled after public outrage. Alaska kept the $223 million in federal funding anyway and used it for other projects. The 50 residents of Gravina Island still take the ferry.
Absurdity
7/10
The U.S. government maintains a massive underground helium reserve in Texas, originally established for military airships (blimps). Despite the blimp-based military strategy becoming obsolete around 1937, the reserve continued operating for decades.
Where Are They Now?
Congress voted to sell off the reserve in 1996, then reversed course in 2013 when they realized helium is actually important for MRI machines and scientific research. The blimps remain retired.
Absurdity
5/10
Congress has authorized over 150 commemorative coins, honoring everything from the Boy Scouts to the National Baseball Hall of Fame. Each coin requires an act of Congress. Each act takes congressional time. The coins fund various charitable causes and museums, but one wonders if there's a more efficient way.
Where Are They Now?
Still going strong. Recent coins commemorate Christa McAuliffe, the Purple Heart, and the Negro Leagues Baseball. The commemorative coin lobby remains one of Washington's most niche but persistent special interests.
Absurdity
8/10
Congress has been debating whether to make Daylight Saving Time permanent since 1918. The Senate unanimously passed the Sunshine Protection Act in 2022, then the House... did nothing. States have passed conflicting laws. Arizona and Hawaii opt out. Everyone changes their clocks and complains twice a year.
Where Are They Now?
Still changing clocks. The 2022 Sunshine Protection Act expired without House action. New bills are introduced every session. The alarm clock industry presumably lobbies in secret.
Absurdity
6/10
Naming post offices is consistently one of Congress's most successful legislative activities. The 117th Congress (2021-2022) passed over 60 post office naming bills. That's roughly 15% of all bills that became law. Each naming takes floor time, votes, and presidential signature.
Where Are They Now?
Post offices continue to be named at an impressive clip. It remains the most bipartisan activity in Congress. If only other legislation moved as smoothly as honoring local heroes with building names.
Absurdity
8/10
Congress established subsidies for mohair (goat hair) production during the Korean War because mohair was used in military uniforms. The military stopped using mohair in uniforms in 1960. The subsidy continued until 1993, was briefly eliminated, then restored in 2002.
Where Are They Now?
The direct mohair payment program was finally ended in 2014, but mohair producers can still access other agricultural support programs. The goats remain unfazed by legislative developments.
Absurdity
7/10
During the 2008 financial crisis bailout bill, Congress added a provision exempting "certain wooden arrows designed for use by children" from excise taxes. This saved the wooden arrow industry an estimated $200,000 per year. The provision was added to help pass a $700 billion bailout package.
Where Are They Now?
Still in the tax code. Children's wooden arrows remain tax-advantaged. The provision cost taxpayers roughly $2 million over a decade. The bailout cost considerably more.
Know Something We Don't?
Did your state pass a law requiring horses to wear pants? Did Congress spend six months debating pickle jar sizes? We want to know. Submit your favorite legislative oddities and help us build the definitive archive of governmental absurdity.
* The longest filibuster in U.S. history lasted 24 hours and 18 minutes. Senator Strom Thurmond read the Declaration of Independence, the Bill of Rights, and George Washington's Farewell Address — all to delay civil rights legislation.
* Congress once spent several days debating whether the official government cheese should be orange or white. They compromised by allowing both. Bipartisanship at its finest.
* There is still a law on the books in Washington D.C. making it illegal to fly a kite. It was passed in 1892. Enforcement has been... lax.
* The IRS tax code is over 74,000 pages long. If printed as a single document, it would stand over 14 feet tall. Nobody has read the whole thing. Not even the IRS.